Bravelove : A Fountain of Adoption Misinformation
Claud over at Musings of the Lame has written an informative piece on Bravelove. Their mission? Yeah, I’m her
stalker superfan. She’s got mad investigating skills, check out what she dug up on Bravelove.
Bravelove Uses Adoption Propaganda to Get Fresh Infants
I want to address Bravelove’s video (seen below):
So, what’s wrong with this video, you ask?
1. It is written from the supposed viewpoint of a child and presumably an adoptee. This would lead someone to believe that all adoptees are thrilled they are adopted (false) and that all adoptees view their birth mothers in a positive light (also false). An expectant mother would view this video thinking that adoption is what is best for the child (yup false). Of course we want what is best for our baby, but adoption is not always the answer. The only thing adoption can promise is that our baby’s life will be different, not better. It is also disturbing that the agency is speaking FOR adoptees through this child.
2. Birthmothers are called superheroes. If I am an expecting mother watching this, I’m probably thinking it would be really cool to be a superhero and the only way to gain that status is to give my baby away. It is much more heroic to raise your own child when faced with obstacles. So, if I’m a superhero for giving my child away, what am I if I decide to keep him? A super villain?
It also implies that the adoptee will view their birthmother as such. Take a look at all the adult adoptee blogs out there. There are many, many views about their first mothers. It’s never as simple as, “she was a superhero.”
3. If we replace the weird super hero jedi kid running around and mouthing off about adoption with a prospective adoptive mother the entire tone and attitude of the video changes. It would sound like a person who really really really really wants to raise someone else’s baby. It would sound like they were entitled to raise someone’s baby. It would be offensive.
4. All the double-talk Mom-mother speak is confusing. Which one am I again?
5. Quote from the masked jedi, “She can turn 9 months into a lifetime…” The first time I watched this video I literally yelled, “OF PAIN” at the computer. Tell me, Obi-wan Adoptee, what exactly does a lifetime without your child feel like? What exactly does a lifetime of being separated from your first family feel like?
6. MAYBE that’s easier said than done??? MAYBE??? But being a superhero always is. There is no maybe about it. Giving my child away was the most traumatic event in my life thus far. I could not have chosen a more painful path to walk on in this lifetime. I assure you that giving my baby away is far more painful than raising him on my own could have ever been.
Bravelove Needs Expectant Mothers to Believe They are Saints
Could this company try any harder to make women think they are saints for giving up their children? Since when is it an expecting mother’s DUTY to make a couple a family?
What is even worse than this video is Bravelove’s facebook page They offer up statistics, never citing where they came from. They have nauseating “fill in the blank, adoption is….” posts which of course have adoptive parents lining up to tell us what adoption means to them. Their entire page and website is visual ipecac.
Just yesterday, the mission on their facebook page and website was stated as “increasing domestic adoptions”. Funny how today it has been changed to: “To change the perception of adoption through honest, informative, and hopeful communication that conveys the heroism and bravery a birth mother displays when she places her child with a loving family through adoption.” I guess the PR peeps thought that stating they wanted to increase their supply of fresh out of the womb infants for the growing demand of adopters with tons of money to throw at their agency was a little too truthful.
My final thought on Bravelove: Their website and facebook page is only presenting the image of the “happy adoption.” There is no exploration or communication of the fact that there are many people out there that have been through or are still involved in adoption that don’t view adoption in a happy light.