What’s Your Label, Mabel?

Labels are everywhere. You’re either prolife or pro choice, republican or democrat, capitalist or socialist, pro adoption or the dreaded(dum dum DUM) anti adoption. Black or white. No room for gray in these waters, right?

So what are you??? WHAT ARE YOU?!?!

Here’s the thing…labeling myself any of these things implies that I know everything I ever need to know about any one of these subjects. It also implies that whoever embraces the other half of the label is my enemy and completely ignorant and baseless in any of their feelings or beliefs.

I do not consider myself an expert in any of these fields but I do lean (sometimes almost falling over onto) towards a side on most issues.

Since I write my blind rage induced vents, also known as views about adoption here I think it would be helpful for anyone who lands here to know my stance on the anti adoption movement.

I am against domestic infant adoptions. I don’t hate all adoptive parents, especially the ones who read and educate themselves on the corruption of the system.

I am opposed to any institution which only serves the needs of the haves (APs) and ignores the needs of the have nots ( first mothers and adoptees).

I will never be convinced that separating a mother and child simply because of temporary circumstances is in the best interest of anyone.

I have tremendous empathy for anyone who is infertile. I can not imagine what that feels like. However, infertility gives no one the right to raise another’s offspring.

It is my staunch belief that MOST domestic infant adoptions are the result of coercion and withholding of vital information from first mothers. Yes, even in today’s modern adoption practices.

At this time I hold no opinion on foster adoptions and international adoptions because I am woefully uneducated on these institutions. I hope to be able to educate myself in the near future.

I will always welcome EDUCATED opposing views. That does NOT mean a personal subjective story of yourself or someone you are BFFs with being an oh so happy adopter or adoptee. That’s like telling me smoking isn’t bad because your Great Aunt Fanny smoked since age was 16 and died at age 101 by getting hit by a bus.

Now here’s a shocker for you, I am pro choice.

Wait…wha…but I though you chose to give your baby up for adoption instead of abortion?!?

Nope. I chose between having an abortion and carrying my baby to term. I then chose between raising my child and giving him away. Although I don’t know if there was much choice there for me in that last sentence, but I digress.

I’m agnostic, so until god himself comes down from the heavens and tells me abortion is wrong, I’m sticking with pro choice.

I’m open to different ways of thinking on issues. If there is new evidence to back up an opposing view point I’m all ears. I can’t say that I will always identify with the anti adoption label but for now that’s the side I’m leaning towards.



  1. everyoneactdead

    infant adoptions should be heavily discouraged, made difficult to finalize, and ideally done in extreme situations only. the emotional costs to the mother and the baby are just not worth it. and while we’re at it, can we get rid of prospective adopters marketing themselves and the dear birthmother letters?

    • leenilee

      I really hate the adopter marketing machine. I know I’m looking at it from the first mother perspective and I understand the need and want to have children of their own. I just can not get beyond the fact that by getting to know expecting mothers, the prospective parents are participating in the coercion of these women and young girls. I like to think that that is not their intention, but it just feels so wrong to me.
      The Dear BirthMother letters are nauseating. It’s completely ridiculous since it’s not like they’re going to say anything negative about themselves. They are only going to capitalize on their strong points so to me, they are really all the same. Completely pointless.

  2. zygotepariah

    I’m adopted. I am also pro-choice. When I reunited with my mother I found out I was supposed to be aborted. I was born on December 28. In June (not showing yet?) my mother went to a summer camp. She was in complete denial about being pregnant (her words). When her parents came to pick her up in late August they took one look at her and whisked her off to a doctor. They wanted to go to Mexico but apparently missed some deadline by two weeks.

    Incidentally, my mother was laughing when she told me this on the second day of our reunion. I guess it was funny?

    But it still didn’t change my mind.

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